SNOW Secrets of the New and Old World
by Kat55
Summary: Inuyasha and the wonders of the outside world...
1. Inuyasha recieves a dress

Note: I don't own Inu-chan but one day I will.(own Sesshomaru).hehe.who cares about the half-breed.*a million red eyes appear* Never mind, I take it back.no, go away! I swear I didn't say anything! *scream*.OoOh, shiny sword!  
  
Chapter 1  
Inuyasha learns of "The Kilt"  
  
Inu: "*high-pitched scream* what is that? *2 seconds later* I  
mean.What the HELL is that? ~_~' Gotta keep my reputation."  
  
*Inuyasha's pointing Tessaiga at a kilt (skirt made of wool that Scottish men wear at special occasions)* ^-^  
  
Annoying Bitch (aka Kagome): "It's your new.ano.kimono?" Inu: "Are you blind, woman? Does that thing LOOK like a kimono to you?" Kag: "*twitchy eyebrows* IT'S CALLED A KILT! I couldn't find anything else for you to wear."  
  
*Note the rips in Inu-chan's pwettyful wed kimono*  
  
Inu: "So, you got me a skirt?" Kag: "*twitch, twitch* IT'S CALLED A KILT!" Inu: "I don't give a damn about technical terms.it's a skirt to me." Kag: "IT'S CALLED A KILT!" Sango: "Ohayou gozaimasu! *looks at kilt* Nani o suru?"  
Inu: "Kagome was supposed to get me new RED KIMONO, but she obviously  
has trouble telling the difference between what she wears and what I  
wear. Look at the damn thing! It's a skirt!"  
Kag: "IT'S CALLED A KILT!"  
San: "Sugoi.that's got to be the third time she said that."  
Inu: "Fourth, if you count the first time like a normal person  
would."  
San: "*in a pissed off tone* Sayounara!  
Announcer: "We interrupt this show to bring you a special news  
report."  
Inu: "Damn commercials.special news report, my cute butt (.not  
REALLY.more like--) I don't need YOUR opinion!  
Kag: "Get off the stage, you're even worse than I am."  
Announcer: "o_O Itai! Worse than Kagome? That's pretty bad."  
Kag: "Arigato, San-- HEY!!"  
(Hey, baka!)  
Kag: "*turns around* Who, me?"  
(No, my invisible friend Bob D. Cow.Bob: "*turns around* Who,  
me?".hmm, interesting.)  
Kag: "OoOh!! I have an invisible friend, too! Her name is-- "  
(Just when I thought that she hit rock bottom.she manages to go  
deeper.Kawaiso)  
Kag: "-- I used to do everything with her! We got up together, ate  
asagohan together, played together, then ate hirugohan together, then  
we played together, then we ate bangohan together, then we slept  
together--"  
Inu: ".slept together? I think I know why you got me a skirt now, but  
just because you're gay, doesn't mean everyone else is!"  
Kag: "You called it a skirt again. IT'S CALLED A KILT!"  
(Can't resist.temptation is too  
great.must.kill.Kagome.mwhahahaha! Kagome, omae wo korosu!)  
Kag: "You can't kill me! Wait.Nani o suteru ka?"  
(I CAN kill you and I will.I'm the one writing this aren't I?)  
Inu: "O, kuso! You just HAD to annoy Kat with your stupidity! Good  
luck getting out of this one.*starts whistling* If anyone asks.I don't  
know you!"  
(Let's see.Ninmu: Korosu tsumaranai baka.I have tons of ideas!  
Here's one.)  
Announcer: "What's that in the sky? It's a bird, it's a plane, no,  
it's Kikyo - the half dead beauty!"  
(I knew there was a good reason I put that announcer in.)  
  
*Kikyo falls from the heavens (Yes, she's a tenshi) and lands on  
Kagome* SPLAT!!  
  
(mwhahahaha.blood.I can smell it.*sniff, sniff*.I also smell  
bangohan.see ya! *tries to get out of chair*.kuso, I fell.chikusho, I  
can't get back up.no.It can't be.The Revenge of Kagome!!! *Sniff,  
sniff* mmm.extra cheese pizza.*~* heavy on the cheeeez.*whine* .~_~'  
Fine, I bring you back to life Kagome.)  
  
*The annoying little bitch that really knows how to blackmail people comes back to life 'cuz I need my cheese.*drool* and pushes Kikyo off*  
  
Kag: "I'm alive! Face it, you can't kill me because you know Inuyasha  
will suffer without me! I will live on!!"  
(I laugh at your simplicity.mwhahahaha.there's more to life than  
that.Need my Cheez.*runs off*)  
Announcer: "Ah, ze power of Cheez."  
  
Vocabulary  
  
Ano- .er.(literally.it's hesitation)  
Ohayou gozaimasu- Good morning!  
Nani o suru- what are you doing?  
Sugoi- wow!! (Kagome's stupidity fascinates even me)  
Sayounara- Goodbye!  
Itai- ouch!  
Arigato- Thank you  
Baka- idiot  
Kawaiso- pathetic  
Asagohan- breakfast  
Hirugohan- lunch  
Bangohan- dinner Ninmu- mission Tsumaranai- worthless Kuso- shit Chikusho- damn it! Nani o suteru ka- what did you say?  
Omae wo korosu- I'm going to kill you!! 


	2. Inuyasha drives a Beetle

pbDisclaimer/b: For the LAST time (even though this is only my second time writing this) my name is Kat and no, I do NOT own Inuyasha or his cute half brother (aw.Sesshie! Sesshomaru: Keep your thoughts to yourself, woman.) This is what I have to go through each time I even mention him, but he's SO fluffy! *Pokes at tail, or whatever the big fluffy thing is* (Sesshomaru: *twitch* did you just call me.*twitch, twitch* FLUFFY? I will not be reduced to such a pitiful name for I am Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands. *Runs away*) But, I didn't call anyone anything! Hey, come back here! Sesshie, wait for ME!!!! *Runs off* /p  
  
p0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~ /p  
  
pMiroku: That was not on the script, but.go ahead Announcer./p pAnnouncer: er.ahem.we are having some.er.technical difficulties. Please stand by. /p pMiroku: *sniff*That was beautiful! What a performance! It's definitely worthy of an Oscar or at least a Golden Globe. *Daydream, drool* Man, are those actresses HOT./p pKagome: *nudge, nudge*/p pSango: ne? o, right.*slap, THUD*/p p(Ah, the sound of Sango hitting Miroku. It's irresistible, so I'm back to hear it. Do it again, do it again! He's unconscious anyway.)/p p Sango: Sure, glad to. *BAM*/p p(mwhahahaha! I laugh at your pain!!)/p pMiroku: (*~*) ne?/p p(I said: I LAUGH at YOUR PAIN! Mwhahaha.ha.ha.ha.O, never mind. By the way, Kagome is still alive. I had to bring her back to life because she's- - sort of the main character, duh! Besides, I had an extra cheese pizza waiting for me. Okay, that was completely random. On with my fanfic!)/p  
  
p0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~ /p  
  
pbChapter 2/ppInu-chan Drives A Car (hehehe.Horseless carriage)/b/p  
  
p*view of an electric BLUE Volkswagen Beetle* (The only bug I like)/p pShippo and Miroku: o_O what's that?/p pSango: *hop, hop, hop to the car* what a strange color! *Poke, poke* what is it?/p pKagome: This is a car. Hehehe.Horseless carriage (hey that's what I said) It's not yet legal for me to drive a car, so I was hoping Inuyasha would- - (baka, Inuyasha is from Feudal Japan. He's never seen a car before)/p pInuyasha: I've never seen that before. (That's what I said! You people have to stop taking my lines!) What's so interesting about a piece of metal like that?/p pMiroku: You get to drive it. *Looking proud of himself*/p pShippo and Sango: How? o_O;/p pMiroku: What are you asking me for?/p p*Inuyasha pushes car with his pinky* *car starts to move.downhill.rolling backwards.it's going.going.still going.go- - GONE!!*/p pShippo: O, I get it!/p pSango: Really? I don't! Explain it to me./p pShippo: I mean I HAD it.I don't get anymore.hehehe./p pKagome: Did that car just roll away?/p pEveryone: Yeah! (Shippo: O, I get it again! No wait.lost it again.)/p pKagome: After the car!! Don't let it get away! *war cry*/p pMiroku: I don't feel like running. Can't we just get Inuyasha to- -drive- -us? /p p*Sango runs past Miroku and she's running pretty fast, but then again I'd do that too cuz you never know what Miroku's thinking, then again who'd WANT to know, then again who doesn't already know, then again - -*/p pMiroku: S-San-Sango, Wait! *Runs to catch up with the now nervous Sango*/p pInu: *starts running and says sarcastically* I've ALWAYS wanted to drive a car. Whoo-hoo, look at me - I'm driving a car - It's just like driving cows into a trap./p p(The Beetle's in the lead, with Inu-chan close behind! Oh, the anticipation is so tamaranai! WHO WILL WIN THIS STRUGGLE?)/p p*Inu jumps trough the trees and finally reaches the runaway car*/p pInu: So this is how you drive a c- - *screams as the car swivels out of control. Car swivels to the right. * Whoa, fun! *Car swivels to the left* feh, as if a little car can throw me off. I've got it under control. /p pKagome: You bak- - idiot! (No Japanese for YOU, Kagome, mwhahaha!) You have to get IN the car to drive it!/p pMiroku: So that's how you drive a car! (Notice that everyone is repeating what someone else already said. This is all due to my laziness, I copied and pasted.)/p pKagome: *annoying bitchy scream that she can make so well* Get INTO the car, Inuyasha, before you get hurt! /p p*Inuyasha is lying in a bundle underneath a tree, while the car is still rolling away. This took place on a VERY steep hill- - or mountain- - it's all the same to me.* /p pInu: Permission to breathe?/p p(DENIED!! One with the show, I mean, story- - no wait.fanfic?)/p pInu: Feel sorry for me. I have to put up with KAGOME and this evil lunatic. /p p(*namida* These are only tears of joy, Inuyasha. Do you really think I'm evil? *sniff* Domo arigato gozaimos! I won't let you down Inu-chan, I promise you I'll be as evil as I can, even if it means killing you!!) /p pInu: Arigato. That's very thoughtful of you./p p(Need ideas-- *stabs Kagome* Nothing PERSONAL, Kagome! *fake cough* This is only for inspiration. *kills Kagome for a second time, the first was in chapter 1* Hey, it worked! Picture this, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru *hint, hint. Nudge, nudge* Mwhahahahaha! Yes, I can see it now.) /p 


End file.
